A Birth Story

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It's taken me five months to publish George's birth story! Part of the delay has been a time factor (my hands are so gloriously full these days!)...but another part of me has hesitated to share my story because I wanted to get it just right. And, more than anything else, I did not want to offend. I loved giving birth to George. But I know not everyone loves giving birth. My hope in publishing George's birth story is to encourage...not to discourage, judge, or offend. When I was pregnant with George I was so nervous about labor and delivery. Reading positive, encouraging birth stories really helped to alleviate a lot of my fears (that and a lot of prayer!). I hope my story may serve the same purpose for you.

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I LOVE reading birth stories. Even before I was pregnant or married I used to love finding a good birth story on a blog...or on TV! I remember visiting a friend in college and spending the better part of the weekend on her couch watching episodes of A Baby Story and crying happy tears as each baby made their grand entrance into the world. Haha!

But even with all of my interest in babies and birth stories I had never thought of the kind of birth I wanted to have until Andrew and I found out we were expecting. I think I always assumed I would give birth in a hospital. I actually ended up delivering in a birthing pool! I figured I would just work with OB-GYN's, but instead I labored under the care of midwives.

I learned so much during my pregnancy with George. And now at five months postpartum I am more passionate than ever about some of the things I was exposed to while pregnant with him. I feel so grateful for those nine months of figuring out exactly what kind of labor and delivery I wanted. And I will always feel unspeakably grateful for Andrew's confidence in me. His willingness to participate in a different kind of birth experience was just the boost I needed. I remember asking my Aunt Greer for her labor advice while I was pregnant and her words still echo in my head, "Emily, you can have good midwives and you can have bad midwives. But regardless of the kind of midwife you have, Andrew will be your best birthing coach." She was so right!

Andrew and I started our prenatal care at a hospital practice here in the northern Virginia area. It was a highly-rated, highly-recommended, very busy practice. I went there for three visits before I realized maybe this wasn't the best fit for us. The visits were brief. The doctors were harried. When I expressed my preference for a birth with as few medical interventions as possible, the doctors assured me that would not necessarily be possible. So off Andrew and I went to a birthing center! We transferred there when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. And we never looked back--it was the single best decision we made during the entire pregnancy. I know this can be a sensitive area and I so understand that some births are medically necessary to take place in a hospital setting. But, thankfully, we had a low-risk pregnancy and the birthing center ended up being the absolute best place for us.

My due date with George was May 30 and I tried to hold it loosely. The midwives at the birthing center assured me that most first time moms end up going right past their due date. But as May 30 approached I was on pins and needles for that baby to get here! :) I had such a smooth pregnancy, but some sciatic nerve pain in the last two weeks of pregnancy had made everything uncomfortable. Walking was hard. Sleeping was a nightmare. The only comfort I could find was bouncing up and down on an exercise ball I borrowed from my parents. I was on that thing at all times during my last few weeks of pregnancy... I even took it over to my in-laws home for dinner one night!

All that to say, while I tried to hold May 30 loosely, I was READY for baby to arrive! I remember texting my friend Hannah a few days prior to that Saturday. She shared half a dozen natural induction tips and I was game for anything. Saturday, May 30 was hot and humid here in D.C. There was no sign of baby...so I put Hannah's induction tips into practice! Five walks around the neighborhood. 50 squats around noon. 60 pelvic rocks right before bed. That evening still nothing. No contractions. No signs of labor.

Sunday, May 31 dawned after a night of restless sleep. Andrew and I headed to church and I felt something very similar to cramps. I texted Hannah and I remember her writing back, "THOSE ARE TOTALLY CONTRACTIONS!!!"

I was so excited! We were getting somewhere! Maybe Baby would come soon! Sunday turned into Monday...our two year anniversary. I was hoping and hoping that baby would hold out until at least the second of June. I kept having cramps/contractions off and on all day Monday. They weren't painful. And weren't really that noticeable either. Andrew and I headed out for an anniversary dinner at the place we celebrated our wedding reception (Old Angler's Inn!). There were huge thunderstorms at dinner. And a full moon that night. Little did we know it would be the last dinner we had as just the two of us.

A rainy anniversary evening at the beautiful Old Angler's Inn // June 1, 2015

I woke up early on June 2. My phone said it was 1am, and I realized those crampy feelings had awakened me. They were becoming a bit more noticeable. But still not painful. More like tightening pressure. I grabbed that exercise ball and started to time the contractions. Andrew was sleeping as I timed contractions for an hour. They were about six minutes apart. Then five minutes. Then eight minutes. A little too sporadic. I paced our bedroom and rocked on that exercise ball. I tried to get back into bed a few times but those contractions were just irksome! At 5am I woke Andrew up and told him the status. We agreed to wait until 8am to call the midwives. After all, my contractions were still a bit irregular and we certainly didn't want to place an early morning call for nothing. At 8am we called. Jo, the midwife on call that day, answered and suggested we drive out to the birthing center. Everything still felt completely manageable. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't worried. We told Jo we'd head out to the center as soon as morning rush hour slowed down. We drove out to the center around 10:30 that morning. I remember a few contractions happening in the car...I was gripping Andrew's hand tightly! They were uncomfortable, but not painful. Bothersome, but not terrifying.

We arrived at the birthing center and Jo offered to check to see how things we're progressing. Imagine our surprise and shock to discover I was already 5 centimeters dilated! This baby really was coming! Jo gave us three options: 1) stay put at the center, or 2) go home and return quickly, or 3) have Andrew return home and I stay put.

I was desperate to go home with Andrew. I needed to grab that bag I'd spent weeks packing. And I wanted to wash the breakfast dishes we'd left in the sink...and bake brownies for the birthing team...and drop off Admiral Byrd at the vet...and grab my protein shake from the fridge that I'd made specifically for our labor...

So off Andrew and I drove! Jo reminded us to eat a good lunch. Andrew dropped me off at the house and went out to pick up Elevation Burger for lunch. I ran around the house like a mad woman tidying and packing and baking and cleaning.

By early afternoon we were preparing to head back to the birthing center. We had called our families and given them an update and they were all praying for us. I remember leaving the house thinking, "Lord willing, we'll be walking back through this door with a BABY. Holy cow!"

We arrived back at the birthing center shortly before 3pm, and I remember suddenly feeling wiped out. The early morning contractions and drives back and forth to the center had left me feeling exhausted. At the midwives suggestions I had prepared a few drinks to help me through labor--a protein shake, a lemon/honey drink, and my 40 oz water bottle. I had granola bars and power bars, too. The food and drinks gave me the nourishment and energy I needed!

our room at the birthing center

six hours before George's arrival...behind me is the tub where George was born!

My contractions had subsided with all of the driving back and forth, but suddenly they picked up again in intensity. Andrew was at my side in moments. Together we worked through the contractions. He would apply pressure on my lower back and I would close my eyes and breathe through the peak of the contraction. Boy, did it feel good to get through them one by one! In between we talked, we laughed, we ate and drank and walked around the room and rested.

The hours went by. I lost track of time. I could see it was evening, and then gradually the shadows lengthened. It was dusk and then night. I was concentrating so hard on the work at hand. It was difficult work, but not impossible. Andrew was there applying just the right pressure. Jo had been in and out of the room, but she was now with me constantly. She was a quiet presence. Every few minutes she applied the doppler to listen for the baby's heartbeat. Baby was good. Kathleen, the student midwife, stroked my arm through contractions. "You're doing it," she would whisper. Another midwife, Shawna, knelt next to me while a contraction started, "Breathe and try to relax as best you can," she gently instructed.

At one point I was aware that our wonderful next door neighbor (and doula!), Denise, had entered the room. I had talked with Denise on so many different occasions during my pregnancy...about labor...and delivery...and whether the birth center was really a good idea...and what to expect...and if I could really handle a natural labor. She was the sounding board for so many of my questions! Her encouragement was such a blessing. I knew that when I went into labor I wanted Andrew by my side...and Denise! Several weeks before I was due Denise and I sat down and went over her work schedule for the end of May/early June. I hoped and prayed that I could deliver on a night she was free! On June 2 Denise worked all day at the hospital (delivering sweet babies!) and late that night drove out to the birthing center. I remember Andrew whispering in my ear sometime that night, "Denise just got here." Oh, the relief and the joy! We still joke that her arrival was like the cavalry coming in...it gave us JUST the boost we needed!

working through contractions with the best labor coach!

smiling and talking in between contractions

Earlier in the day, when we had arrived at the birthing center, Jo asked me what I thought about a water birth. There were huge tubs in all of the birthing center rooms. I really didn't have a strong opinion one way or another. I was open to a water birth, but didn't have to have one. At one point in the afternoon Jo suggested I might enjoy the relaxation of the water. I hopped in, and the water was completely relaxing! That night, hours into labor, Jo suggested again that I might enjoy the tub. With the assistance of the midwives and Andrew, I climbed in. Andrew had slipped into his swim trunks and climbed in with me.

The water was so relaxing. I had gone right past the first stage of labor, into transition, and was feeling those powerful pushing contractions. So I pushed rested and pushed and rested and pushed. "You're making great progress," Jo encouraged. At one point she suggested I reach down and feel the baby's head. We were so close. But that pushing was taking forever. It wasn't painful, just intense pressure...but I was so tired. A small doubt began to creep into my mind that I wouldn't have the energy I needed to push this baby out. I was so, so tired. Kathleen offered the water bottle again. I prayed. I pushed. I listened to Andrew's encouraging voice. I watched Jo's face. She was completely calm. I looked at Denise. She stroked the hair back from my forehead. I waited while Shawna checked Baby's heartbeat. Still good. I decided then. I would give it everything I had. I pushed with all of my strength. And there was release! I remember hearing Jo say, "Catch your baby!" I reached into the water and pulled that tiny form onto my chest...and sank back onto Andrew in the tub.

Raw emotion! Meeting our George for the first time

Then it was a blur...the midwives wrapping a blanket over me and the baby on my chest...the joy of looking down and seeing that tiny face...the intense joy...and love...suddenly wondering "what is the sex?"...and Andrew lifting a corner of the blanket and announcing "It's a boy!"...a boy...we have a son...the first cries...the fingers and toes...the midwives rapidly draining the tub...the cord pulsating for minutes and minutes after the birth...Andrew asking Denise to cut the cord....her strong, steady hands...passing the baby to Denise as Jo and Shawna helped me exit the tub...standing up and delivering the placenta...being helped to the bed...and feeling elated exhausted overjoyed incredible comatose and absolutely calm.

"Do we have a name for the baby?" Jo asked us. We looked at one another and smiled. Of course it was George. No question. The midwives measured, weighed, and checked all of George's vital signs. Jo helped me get started with breastfeeding. And Andrew ordered Papa John's pizza to be delivered to the birthing center. The midwives left us to bask in the sweetness of our new family. Andrew called our parents and siblings, and we lay on the bed staring at George. We were simply amazed. We rested a few more hours and then packed our belongings up, loaded that brand new baby into his car seat, and drove home (for the second time that day!) around 2:30 in the morning. I remember walking into our house with George in his car seat and thinking, "Nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for how wonderful and completely surreal this would feel."

We slept that night. And in the morning there we were with our newborn son. We could not get over it. We still can't get over it! Andrew and I reminisce about the beauty and work of that night...the co-laboring, the marathon day, the amazing birth team we had, and the peaceful atmosphere of the birthing center. It was a day that was bathed in prayer by so many people. We were so aware of and appreciative of those prayers! What an incredible, life-changing event to experience!

hours before delivery and six weeks postpartum!

P.S. My birth story might be drastically different from yours. Or it might be very similar. Or maybe you've never given birth but you're very curious about it. I could talk about the details of my story forever! I loved being pregnant and I loved labor and delivery, too. If you ever want to swap birth stories or talk birth in general or even ask more specific questions about my experience, I would love to do that! Please feel free to e-mail me at emilyjofossen [at] gmail [dot] com.